Fear and Trembling down the road

My nightmare works just down the street.  It upsets me whenever I see it.

See, there’s this guy, late twenties maybe, maybe early thirties, and he works at the Safeway.  Actually, he could be mid to late thirties, I really can’t tell.  He’s lanky with Kramer hair and a sad, bitter face.  He’s always dressed in a cheap white dress shirt but with no undershirt so it’s slightly see through.   It’s that sad bitter face that always gets to me.  I get the feeling that he just hates working there; that he thinks he’s better than that job.  He wants to do more but he’s stuck, and because he’s stuck it makes him bitter.  That’s my nightmare.

It’s easy to find yourself in that position though, isn’t it?  You need a job so you go out and find some work.  It pays more than you’re used to and you like having the money.  Next thing you know you’re spending more than you’re actually making.  It feels good though, because you’re able to buy those things that you always though would make you happy, the things you thought a good life was made from. 

Then you find yourself stuck.  You’ve got your things, but now you’re stuck with your job.  That job you never really wanted, but you took for the money.  Then you find the money isn’t making you as happy as you thought. Sure, it was nice at the beginning, but now you want more.  You want more but you’ve found you’ve already hit the earnings ceiling.  You’re maxed out and you can’t leave because you need everything you’re getting. You start feeling sad.  Then you start feeling bitter.

You know you could do better but you know you can’t leave either.  You’re stuck buying cheap shirts and scanning prices into a fancy laser gun under the depressing glow of florescent lights.

It makes me shutter.

It’s probably a part of the reason I didn’t want to apply at Safeway during my search for part-time work.  I did though, eventually, because I found out that some things are more important to you than your fears are scary.  They didn’t call me back.  Maybe I was overqualified.  (I was)

I also realize that it’s unlikely I’ll ever be swallowed up by my fears for the very reason that they are my fears.  When there’s something in your life that you’re terrified of coming to fruition, you can usually be confident that you’ll spend the necessary energy to ensure it doesn’t happen.  Of course, recent events prove to me that this isn’t the case, as sometimes your efforts are, unfortunately, poorly focused.

Comments

[gs]

We are never stuck, we just think we are. I've seen it too many times, people thinking they are stuck and then something pushes them out and they go on to better things thinking why did I ever stay there that long. There's always a way out. We just get lazy and flow like water down the path of least resistance though we are not water and we are not the river. We are like birds on the water who just need to flap their wings and fly away. Don't like where you are .... then FLY!

[Amanda]

I agree with GS. People get stuck because they are lazy, because they are scared. Everyone has dreams of doing something; maybe in their career, or day to day job, personal life. Many people don't make a change because its "too much work", and life is hard when changes are made. Do you know how many people said to me "Oh....I wish I could take a chance like you. When I was ___ age I had the chance to ______ and boy....I regret it still".....Silly really.